199+ Funny & Creative Zero Balance Jokes

Laughter is the best medicine, but have you ever tried laughing when your bank account is empty? It’s a special kind of humor that only comes when you’re creatively broke.

This collection of zero balance jokes is your go-to source for a good chuckle when your funds are low.

Get ready to find the funny side of financial woes, because sometimes, all you have left to spend is a good laugh.

The Benefits of Choosing Funny Zero Balance Jokes

• Stress Relief: Laughing at zero-balance jokes eases financial stress, offering a refreshing mental escape.
• Creativity Boost: Humor sparks creativity, helping you tackle problems with a lighter perspective.
• Bonding Opportunity: Sharing these jokes connects you with others, making tight times feel less isolating.
• Positive Mindset: Finding humor promotes resilience during tough situations.

Funny & Creative Zero Balance Jokes

1. My bank account is like an onion. Every time I look at it, I cry.
2. I have a zero-tolerance policy for nonsense, and a zero-balance policy for my bank account.
3. My bank account has two-factor authentication: zero dollars and zero cents.
4. I asked my bank for my balance, and they sent me a picture of a tumbleweed.
5. My wallet is on a diet. It’s lost a lot of weight.
6. My bank called me today. They said I have an outstanding balance. I told them, “Thank you, I try my best.”
7. I’m not broke. I’m pre-rich.
8. My bank account is in its minimalist phase.
9. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my wallet just coughed up dust.
10. My bank account balance is currently in airplane mode.
11. I’m so broke, I can’t even pay attention.
12. My bank account balance is a protected species—it’s endangered.
13. If you see me with a new phone, just know I have great credit, not a great balance.
14. My bank statement is just a list of my regrets.
15. I told my wallet we needed to see other people.
16. My bank account is like my hairline—it’s receding.
17. I’m starting a new diet called “I can’t afford food.”
18. My bank account is currently social distancing from money.
19. My financial plan is to win the lottery. So far, it’s not going well.
20. I’m not saying I’m poor, but I waved at a car and the driver threw a dollar at me.
21. My bank account balance looks like a phone number with no area code.
22. I just checked my balance. It said, “LOL.”
23. My credit card company called and asked if I’d been robbed. I said, “No, I just went grocery shopping.”
24. I’m participating in a no-spend challenge. It’s not by choice.
25. My wallet is like an old TV. You have to hit it to get anything out of it.
26. I’m so broke, my imaginary friend moved out.
27. My bank account and I are in a long-distance relationship.
28. I’m not saying I’m broke, but I’m using my credit card as an ice scraper.
29. My bank account is a great example of a balanced diet: zero carbs, zero fats, zero dollars.
30. I have a great relationship with my bank. We both know I don’t have any money.
31. My bank account is like a haunted house—full of cobwebs and strange noises when I try to withdraw.
32. I’m so broke, the Salvation Army told me to come back later.

Read Also: 199+ Funny & Creative Lab Tech Jokes

Unique Zero Balance Jokes One-Liners

1. My bank account balance is currently in silent mode.
2. My wallet is more of a decorative item at this point.
3. I just did a magic trick. I made all my money disappear.
4. My bank account is on a spiritual journey to find itself.
5. I’m so broke, I eat cereal with a fork to save milk.
6. My bank statement just says “Ouch” in different fonts.
7. My balance is lower than my self-esteem on a Monday morning.
8. I’m not broke, I’m just experiencing a temporary cash-flow issue. For the past decade.
9. My bank account got a new job as a comedian.
10. My wallet is so empty, it echoes.
11. I tried to withdraw money and the ATM printed a “You Tried” sticker.
12. My financial status is “currently unavailable.”
13. I’m not poor, I’m just economically challenged.
14. My bank account is practicing intermittent fasting.
15. I’m so broke, my debit card has a picture of a question mark on it.
16. My balance is so low, it’s a member of a secret underground society.
17. My wallet has officially retired.
18. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank calls me to ask for a loan.
19. My bank account has a great sense of humor. It loves playing hide and seek with my money.
20. I’m so broke, I’m considering a career in professional napping.
21. My bank account is a master of disguise—it often looks like a math problem.
22. My wallet is like a celebrity—rarely seen in public.
23. My balance is so low, it has its own zip code.
24. I’m not broke, I’m just on a savings plan where I save nothing.
25. My bank account is a modern art installation titled “Absence.”
26. I’m so broke, I have to lick the cheese off the mousetrap.
27. My wallet is currently on a sabbatical.
28. My bank account and I have an open relationship. Money comes and goes.
29. My balance is so low, it’s a conspiracy theory.
30. I’m not poor, I’m just extremely good at spending.
31. I’m so broke, I can’t afford to be this good-looking.
32. My bank account is a cautionary tale.

Dirty Zero Balance Jokes

1. My bank account is like my sex life—non-existent.
2. I like my bank accounts like I like my dates—easy to get into, hard to get anything out of.
3. My bank account is so empty, it’s practically a virgin.
4. I wish my bank account would get as much action as I want to.
5. My bank account has seen less action than a nun in a library.
6. My balance is so low, it’s celibate.
7. My bank account is like a bad one-night stand—it leaves you feeling empty and full of regret.
8. I’m looking for a sugar daddy, but all I can find is a Splenda daddy.
9. My bank account and my love life have one thing in common: zero figures.
10. My wallet is so empty, it’s a tease.
11. I told my bank I wanted to make a withdrawal. They said, “Don’t you think you should buy us dinner first?”
12. My bank account is a tease. It shows me a balance, then it’s gone.
13. My financial situation is like a bad romance—it screws you over and leaves you with nothing.
14. My balance is so low, it’s not even trying to get lucky.
15. I’m so broke, my idea of a good time is a free trial.
16. My bank account is in a committed relationship with the number zero.
17. My wallet is so empty, it’s on a dry spell.
18. I asked my bank for a dirty joke. They showed me my balance.
19. My bank account is like a bad date—it never calls back.
20. My balance is so low, it’s waiting for marriage.
21. I’m so broke, my fantasies involve finding a forgotten $20 bill.
22. My bank account has been ghosting me for months.
23. My wallet is so empty, it’s saving itself for a special occasion.
24. My financial status is “single and not ready to mingle.”
25. My bank account is so dry, it needs a lubricant.
26. I’m so broke, my idea of a ménage à trois is me, my debt, and my tears.
27. My balance is so low, it’s been friend-zoned by my income.
28. My bank account is playing hard to get. Really hard.
29. I’m so broke, my wallet has a purity ring.
30. My bank account has sworn off all activity.
31. My balance is so low, it’s practicing abstinence.
32. I asked my bank what my position was. They said, “On your knees.”

Zero Balance Jokes from Reddit

1. Just checked my bank account. It looks like I’ll be having a sleepover… with my hunger.
2. My bank account is the only thing that’s losing weight this year.
3. I’m not saying I’m broke, but I just bought a one-way ticket to my couch.
4. My bank account has a great personality, I swear.
5. I’m so broke, my debit card declined a free sample.
6. My bank account is like a teenager—always asking for more and never satisfied.
7. I’m not saying I’m poor, but I just found a moth in my wallet holding a “For Rent” sign.
8. My bank account is a performance artist. Its latest piece is called “Vanishing Act.”
9. I’m so broke, I’m eating my feelings. And my feelings taste like instant noodles.
10. My bank account is a minimalist. It believes in living with less.
11. I just checked my balance. It said, “Are you sure you want to do this to yourself?”
12. My wallet is so empty, it’s started to echo.
13. My bank account and I are playing a game of chicken. I think it’s winning.
14. I’m so broke, my tears are now considered a liquid asset.
15. My bank account is on a cleanse. It’s getting rid of all the toxins, like money.
16. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank just sent me a “Get Well Soon” card.
17. My bank account is a fan of suspense. It always keeps me guessing.
18. I’m so broke, I’m thinking of selling my shadow.
19. My bank account is a great teacher. It’s taught me the value of ramen.
20. My wallet is so empty, it has a “For Sale” sign on it.
21. My bank account is a mystery novel. The plot twist is that there’s no money.
22. I’m not saying I’m broke, but I just got a notification that my air is overdrawn.
23. My bank account is a motivational speaker. It keeps telling me to try harder.
24. I’m so broke, my piggy bank filed for bankruptcy.
25. My bank account is a philosopher. It’s always asking, “What is the meaning of money?”
26. I’m not saying I’m poor, but I just got a bill for my thoughts.
27. My bank account is a magician. It can make money disappear in seconds.
28. I’m so broke, I’m considering renting out my side of the bed.
29. My bank account is a comedian. It always makes me laugh… and then cry.
30. My wallet is so empty, it’s a registered historical landmark.
31. I’m not broke, I’m just in a long-term, committed relationship with my overdraft.
32. My bank account is so empty, even the digital numbers are transparent.

Best Zero Balance Jokes

1. My bank balance is the most consistent thing in my life: consistently zero.
2. I told a joke about my bank account. It had no cents.
3. My bank account is a member of the “zero hero” club.
4. I’m not broke, I’m just living life on the free trial version.
5. My bank account balance is a secret I’m not even keeping from myself.
6. I have a PhD in Broke-ology.
7. My wallet is so light, it could float in a breeze.
8. My bank statement is just a single sheet of paper with a frowny face on it.
9. I’m not saying I’m broke, but I’m thinking of charging my phone with my personality.
10. My bank account is a great example of a non-profit organization.
11. I’m so broke, my life is a “GoFundMe” campaign waiting to happen.
12. My bank account is practicing social distancing from my salary.
13. I’m not saying I’m poor, but I’m using a map as a blanket.
14. My bank account has a resting heart rate of zero.
15. I’m so broke, I have to make a reservation to use my own imagination.
16. My bank account is a master of subtraction.
17. My wallet is so empty, it’s a protected habitat for dust bunnies.
18. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank sent me a notification that my account is hibernating.
19. My bank account is a great listener. It never interrupts me when I cry.
20. I’m so broke, I’m considering a career as a statue.
21. My bank account is a work of fiction.
22. My wallet is so empty, it’s a vacuum.
23. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank account is on a hunger strike.
24. My bank account is a great example of what happens when you follow your dreams.
25. I’m so broke, I’m using my dreams as currency.
26. My bank account is a ghost story.
27. My wallet is so empty, it’s a black hole.
28. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank account is a member of the witness protection program.
29. My bank account is a great example of a balanced budget: zero in, zero out.
30. I’m so broke, I’m considering a career in professional sighing.
31. My bank account has achieved a state of zen: complete emptiness.
32. My wallet is so empty, it’s just a leather-bound collection of memories.

Clever & Crazy Zero Balance Jokes

1. My bank account has been hacked… by my own spending habits.
2. I’m not broke, I’m just having an out-of-money experience.
3. My bank account is a science experiment to see how long a person can survive on hope alone.
4. I’m so broke, I’m considering a career as a professional complainer.
5. My bank account is a philosophical question: if there’s no money in it, does it really exist?
6. My wallet is so empty, it’s a minimalist art piece.
7. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank account is in a coma.
8. My bank account is a great example of a paradox: it’s empty, but it’s full of disappointment.
9. I’m so broke, I’m using my tears as a source of hydration.
10. My bank account is a great example of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
11. My wallet is so empty, it’s a blank canvas.
12. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank account is a member of a secret society.
13. My bank account is a great example of a tragic comedy.
14. I’m so broke, I’m considering a career as a professional ghost.
15. My bank account is a great example of a zero-sum game.
16. My wallet is so empty, it’s a portal to another dimension.
17. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank account is a member of the Flat Earth Society.
18. My bank account is a great example of a modern-day fable.
19. I’m so broke, I’m considering a career as a professional mime.
20. My bank account is a great example of a quantum state: it both has and doesn’t have money at the same time.
21. My wallet is so empty, it’s a conversation starter.
22. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank account is a member of a support group.
23. My bank account is a great example of a Catch-22.
24. I’m so broke, I’m considering a career as a professional sleeper.
25. My bank account is a great example of a Schrodinger’s cat situation: I don’t know if I have money until I check.
26. My wallet is so empty, it’s a blank check.
27. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank account is a member of a book club.
28. My bank account is a great example of a Greek tragedy.
29. I’m so broke, I’m considering a career as a professional daydreamer.
30. My bank account is a great example of a Mobius strip: no matter which way you look at it, it’s still empty.
31. My wallet is so empty, it’s a blank slate.
32. I’m not saying I’m broke, but my bank account is a member of an improv group.